Entry #3: Show, don't tell

The concept of the rule "Show, don't tell" comes from film making, and states that instead of spewing exposition via dialogue, the audience should see information rather than hear it.

This concept is also praised in video games such as Half-Life and it's sequels where control is very rarely taken from the player, forcing the designers to attempt to grab the player's attention in various other ways.

When applied to writing, however, it's slightly different. Instead of your goal being for the audience to see rather than hear, your goal is to make the audience feel through emotion instead of see by reading words. Emotion and imagination can be far more powerful than any written word, but the issue is that not only is everybody different, and just about no one can relate to every given situation, difficulty arises in that you must create emotion through written word.


For example, This afternoon, after eating lunch and taking the bus home, I was horribly overheated and sweaty. I became parched, so I decided to get water on the way home. After a long, crowded bus ride, the problem only became worse when the Circle K by my house had a problem with their water pumps. Instead of waiting until I got home, I made a different decision. Soda would only worsen the issue, I don't like tea, and I abhor Gatorade, so instead of a beverage, I found an even better, alternative way to cool down and soothe my dry mouth on the way home. I bought a small, circular, plastic package. opening the package was quick and easy, and when I shook a tablet into my hand, it was almost as if I could feel the ice cold sensation on my palm. I popped the tablet into my mouth and bit hard. My teeth immediately broke the tough and rigid tablet into a fine powder, and immediately, my entire face became ice cold. my mouth began to water at the intense flavor, so intense it almost hurt. I chewed and kept the tablet in my mouth as it continued to cool me off. The tingling sensation bordered on true pain as it traveled to my nose. I popped another tablet in. The sensation lingered before I bit through the second one, and as I swallowed the first, my throat was coated with the coolant, and I was now prepared for the hot and dry trek home.
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Now, without ever having said the word mint, just about everybody could guess what I was talking about. I never said what flavor, I never said what brand, I never said how large the tablets were, or the shape, but still, anybody could form a clear mental picture of the scene.

When going about this method, it definitely helps to make the language more poetic and drawn out. It helps for people to fill in the gaps themselves, and in doing so, they inadvertently place themselves in the position of the subject, and perhaps they think of their favorite brand of mints, or they think of a similar situation that happened to them, etc.

If you hit a wall, think about the five senses: Touch Taste Sight Smell and Hearing

In my example, I "showed" quite a lot, but if I were to have "told", you would have walked away with simple summary of "He was hot, he didn't have water, and he ate a mint". Though this general rule of thumb is not always necessary, or indeed, I believe, possible, it is almost always recommended.